Sep 18, 2014

Winning at Momming

In yesterday's snippet post, I alluded to our amazing awesome day on Tuesday. I am #winningatmomming. But not for the reasons you think.

We started our day at Open Gym. It was our first time there and the boys dove right in playing with the hula hoops and balls.
Then we bounced for a bit. Well, we explored bouncing things. They haven't quite figured out the trampoline yet.
Then Davy decided to tackle the big slide.
His first try, he climbed right up the stairs and with no hesitation went down the slide on his tummy.
Tripp saw his brother do it and decided to climb up too.
After Open Gym we picked up nuggets at McDonald's and ate in the car. The floor suffered but the boys loved it! A quick (too quick!) car nap and the four us tackled Target. We went for almond milk and diapers. We left with a full cart! But we were still smiling in checkout.
 




 

I'm not sharing our awesome day to brag (or at least that's not the big motivation). It's just the opposite!

 

So many days lately I have felt in the trenches. I feed them. I change them. I dress them. I change diapers again. I hold them when they cry. And I repeat. Some days I manage to bathe them. Occasionally we brush teethe (but never twice a day like we should). I am in trenches and I am out of breathe. I am racing and exhausted. So many days I feel like I am failing.

At face value, it sounds so easy. My job is to take care of three little boys, but it is more than that. It's not so straightforward. It's not so easy.

Each day is filled with self-doubt and guilt. Am I doing it right? Am I doing enough? Did I handle that well? And then comes the full blown tantrum in public and I feel all the eyes in Target staring at me and my bad momming. Clearly I'm doing something wrong because my not yet terrible two is completely melting down and my newborn isn't angelically asleep in the carseat. In fact, my newborn hates the carseat with every single fiber of his little being. And we haven't even touched on the public spectacle we are in the parking lot when both of the twins use their little arms to hold onto the frame of the car so I can't get them into the car. So many days I feel like I am failing.

I need to give myself grace. And on the days when it is all falling apart I need to remember Tuesday. Not because it was the perfect momming day, but because I am capable of this. I can do it! I am #winningatmomming.

And so can you mama!

You can do this!

Because mama, when your darling isn't so darling and has a tantrum in Target just remember that a meltdown is just a meltdown. And the folks staring at you are remembering when their littles did the same thing. Honestly, right this moment a child is melting in a Target. Probably more than one! You aren't alone. You aren't failing.

When the infant is crying and refuses to sleep, you hold him. You bounce him. You rock him. Nothing works, but you aren't failing. You are giving him exactly the love and attention he needs. You can read all about the "perfect parenting methods" online and in the parenting books, but the truth is none of us have this mom thing figured out. It's okay to not know exactly why the baby is crying. None of us know. Anyone who claims they do is lying. You aren't failing.

Mama, you know you’re not failing.

Think of everything you do each day. You offer kisses that make booboos disapear. You give smiles of encouragement. You make at least three meals a day (tell me I'm not the only mom with kids who sometimes need second breakfast or two lunches?). You read books. You change clothes. You provide food and shelter and encouragement and most importantly love. You work without stopping doing everything you can for your babies.

You aren't failing.

And neither am I.

I'm going to finish the Open Gym story...

Do you see Tripp up there at the top of the slide?
He hung out up there nearly ten minutes with me at the bottom shouting words of encouragement. He climbed up without hesitation. But at the top he was scared. He didn't know what to do. He cried out for his ma-ma-ma. Eventually I had to hand James off to another mom (who I just met that morning!) and go help him.
 

You see, I'm not #winningatmomming because we went to Open Gym and it was amazing. I'm not winning because I tackled Target with three kids and no one melted.

I'm winning because when Tripp was scared he called for me. I'm winning because as his mama I was able to make it better. I threw off my shoes and climbed up there with him. I held his hand and slid down next to him. I was there for him. I made it better. I'm winning at momming.

When you can make it better, when your child turns into you during the scary stuff and the hard stuff, you are winning!

We all have good days and bad days. But that doesn't matter. Your kid remembers the love. Your kid remembers that you are "their person." Your child needs love not Pinterest crafts. They need attention not perfectly cooked meals. If your child turns into you, then you are doing it right. You aren't failing!

And you will never fail mama!

Because on the hard days, the scary days, God can make it better. God is their for us at the top of the tall slide. He throws off His shoes and climbs up. He slides down beside us holding our hands. God let's us win at momming. God helps us win at momming. God sets the example for us to follow. Through God and because of his grace we can all win.

We are #winningatmomming. We can do this!

I'd love for you to show me the moment you won at momming. The small moment you knew you were doing something right.

Maybe, like me, it was when your scared little one turned to you for help.

Maybe it was when your child sat in your lap and you read books all day long.

Maybe it was when your shy son had the confidence to order for himself at a restaurant.

Maybe it was when the baby cried just for you in the middle of the night and needed all the snuggles.

Maybe it was when your daughter responded to the mean girls with kindness because you had taught her how.

 

So, tag that moment when you knew you were doing something right with #winningatmomming and let's share our successes.

 

1 comment:

  1. My nephew was dying over the pictures of that bouncy house! haha You are definitely winning at being a mommy! :)

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