May 30, 2014

solo parenting, twitter, sonogram pictures


Tripp and Davy went to college!
Thursday was a huge day in the life of me. I met with my dissertation advisor to go over my rough draft. And he liked it! He had some suggestions and I have some areas that need work, as expected, but the overall feedback was so much better than I ever expected. I could write and write and write about all the things my chair told me, but my time is better spent enacting his suggestions rather than writing them all out. I have so much hope that I will be finished with everything before BabyJ arrives and then defend my dissertation in the early fall. This means I could graduate in December! It's only a year and a half later than I originally thought I would graduate, but I have three of the greatest reasons ever for a delay.



Also on Thursday, I got to sneak a peek at little BabyJ. Only he isn't so little. The sonogram was ordered to check my cervical length since I had PPROM last pregnancy and my cervix is currently long and lean. Really long actually. It was also ordered because I have had low maternal weight gain and they wanted to verify that J is growing okay. Well, I might not have gained very much but he's a bruiser! At 32w2d he is measuring 10 days ahead (33w5d) and is estimated at 4lb13oz. Everything looks great and J is a healthy baby boy. Sadly, I don't find this encouraging since at my 33w0d MFM appointment everything looked great and then the next morning labor began. I'm still a bundle of nerves.

Baby J.
Top: Profile with hands up by his face.
Bottom: Tiny toes.

During the sonogram, the boys were in the stroller playing with toys and having a snack. I wish I had a video camera set up on them. They were being relatively quiet, both sipping on their almond milk when the sonographer turned on the sound to hear Js heartbeat. Once you could hear the tha-thump-tha-thump Tripp looked up, stopped sipping his milk, and explained "Whoa!" Such a heart melting moment I will never forget!



During our infertility journey, my greatest source of support was the amazing women on twitter. The camaraderie, support, understanding, and compassion got me through a really hard time. Sadly, the infertility community is not very open to outsiders and as a mom of soon to be three, I have been deemed no longer one of them.

This breaks my heart. I took a week off of twitter this week to sort out my emotions around this and I'm still really confused. Women I went through unsuccessful treatments with, got pregnant with, raised newborns with, cried with, celebrated with are still there. I want to support them. I want to share with them.

But apparently I no longer relate to them because of my unicorn pregnancy. Apparently everyone forgot how naively overly optimistic I was through the whole journey and so any words of hope I offer are easy for me to say since it all worked out for me. Apparently the few pictures of the boys I put on twitter are too many (I restarted my Instagram account to limit baby pictures on twitter but I guess any photos at all is too many!). Apparently my support is no longer wanted.

I decided to get back on twitter. And I have decided I am not going to filter myself. And I have decided I am going to try really hard to be thick skinned about it because I have a feeling this will get me unfollowed by a lot of people I thought were friends. But not by everyone. And I have some true, deep friendships I am just not willing to walk away from.



I have been solo parenting all week and to say I'm exhausted doesn't even describe. I'm used to Casey traveling for work. I'm used to solo bedtimes when he works late. But no break since Monday is really wearing on me this week. I just don't have the energy I normally have. Pregnant with twin toddlers is no joke! I'm not sure how I'm going to survive long trips like this when I have a newborn and twin toddlers!

Sadly, this weekend is so jam packed that I won't have time to recover! I have a MOPS leadership training, we are watching my sister's kids all afternoon, we have a first birthday party, and somewhere between all of that we need to continue working on the must do before baby comes list. And then on Monday I go back to solo parenting for a few days. Joy.

Monday night the boys helped clean up.
We've been practicing the clean up song and I'm glad they wanted to help.
But they added their own spin:
Forget throwing toys in the basket, just clear the whole play zone!


I'm blaming the solo parenting for the pathetic blogging this week. I have the first half of an awesome post written that was supposed to post on Thursday as part of the one year and beyond linkup. The post is over gracefully handling unwanted opinions on your parenting. I know I really struggle with this and wish I had time to finish the post because I think it would be really good for me to write it. But, honestly, I think it will go live in my drafts folder for a while. I currently have 13 partially written posts in my drafts folder. I have a problem! The 30ish minutes a day I carve out for blogging just isn't enough for long, deep, thoughtful blogs.

The reasons I haven't blogged much this week.


Blog Posts This Week:


Join in and link up with A. Liz Adventures, Hello! Happiness, The Good Life Blog and Carolina Charm for Five on Friday!




May 28, 2014

the best mistake [finish this]

The best mistake I ever made … was staying up all night with friends and somehow kissing a guy on the top of a parking garage while watching the sunrise and eating donuts. I had just ended a fairly complicated relationship*** and had no business jumping into another relationship. But I jumped. And it was a lifechangingly amazing mistake that turned out to not be a mistake at all.

(***Actually, I had broken up with him daily for two weeks. He wasn't taking no for an answer. I was getting flowers delivered to my dorm room with ridiculous frequency. It was fun removing the cards and sharing the wealth with all the other girls in the dorm!)

Exactly three years later that mistake proposed
during the sunset on the top of that same parking garage.

From this mistake, I learned … perfect timing doesn't exist. God knows what He is doing and threw Casey and I together at just the right moment. Because we started dating then, Casey had the opportunity to meet my Dad who passed away just two months later. It means so much to me that they at least met. It also added a whole new dimension and depth to our relationship. Casey saw me at my worst. He supported me. He comforted me. He sat beside me. He let me cry. He loved me.

When I’m anxious, I tell myself … to breathe. Bad things happen. I can't control them. My worrying won't make a difference in the outcome. I can plan. I can prepare. But I'm not in control.


All I really want to do is … sleep. I'm exhausted this pregnancy. Abd the twins have been congested so aren't sleeping well. I just want sleep. Lots of sleep. Because I know I have a year(ish) of no sleep to look forward. (Remember my first pregnancy panic because being a mom is so hard!)


Join in the fun and "Finish This," by finishing the above prompts and linking up your post with the hosts of this party: Nicole {Three 31} Lisa {Coastlined}, and Becky {The Java Mama}.


May 27, 2014

Work It Baby

I have read so many fun blog posts about the amazing three day weekends you all had. You went to pools, lakes, splash pads, parks, BBQs, and all sorts of fun things. I have to say, I'm a bit jealous! We worked. We worked REALLY hard. But, to be honest we rocked this weekend! (And obviously still had fun - how can you not with two toddlers!)

The boys love the cabinet in the sunroom. They've claimed it as their own.
I spent every spare moment on Friday trying to clean out the guest bedroom. I wish I had taken an embarrassing before so you would understand what a monumental task this was! Especially to work on while the boys "helped me." For every one thing I folded Davy unfolded five. Every time I put something in a box, Tripp pulled it out. I went through the pile of potential donate clothes that was taking over the room, organized our ski things, and got the room COMPLETELY cleared out so that on Saturday Casey and my brother could bring the two dressers we bought off Craigslist into the room. I want to change out the hardware for something more fun, but think with the painted crib these are going to look perfect!

Clockwise from top left:
(1) The guest bed all set up in its new home.
(2) The dressers we bought for Baby J.
(3) Looking at paint colors. Do you have a favorite?
(4) The dresser in the guest room.
And the new super powerful "Ferrari of Routers" that we just needed so
Casey's computer games would run fast enough in the new office space.
(5) Name blocks for all three boys. Because, cute!

Saturday afternoon, we worked on combining offices. This involved A LOT of cleaning out and throwing away. We also learned that when our random office supplies are combined we own a lot of pens and even more binder clips. Drawer organizers have been ordered and will be here later this week to help tame the pen situation.

Office supply hoarders.

For now, the new combined office is clean, organized and looking good. It's looking pretty gosh darn girly in its pink and green glory so at some point all of the pink things will need traded out, but one step at a time. We need to decorate a nursery before we think about an office!

Three monitors, a MacBook, an iPad. Technology much?

We got all of the furniture moved for the great room switch so the nursery is empty and waiting to become a nursery. The guest room is all set up as a guest room. (Well minus the closet that is still full of Casey's office stuff to go through.) The office furniture we are keeping (love seat and a cabinet) and moved and now in place in the sunroom.

The sunroom layout now.

We took pictures and listed A TON of things on Craigslist. Sadly, nothing has sold yet. We have our first potential sale tonight with a couple coming by to look at the kitchen table. We're hopeful it will ALL sell soon. And if it doesn't we'll donate it all.

I have been really really nervous about our lack of progress on the cleaning and baby prep front because even though I am 8 weeks from my due date (32 weeks today!) I am so nervous we actually only have 8 days left before my water breaks (it broke at 33w1d last time) and we need to be prepared. I know this is irrational. I know I will most likely go full term this time. But inside, I'm a much bigger mess of emotion than I ever expected to be.

So, we may not have done anything super fun or exciting this Memorial Day Weekend, but we really did rock this weekend and I feel so freakin' good!

The Before Baby To Do List (which just keeps growing!):

  • Sell kitchen table Sold??
  • Sell old dining room table (currently in garage)
  • Sell old dining room light fixture
  • Sell old kitchen light fixture
  • Sell old bathroom light fixture
  • Clean out guest bedroom so it can become a nursery
  • Remove everything from closet
  • Move guest bedroom furniture into new room
  • Clean out Casey's office so it can become the guest bedroom
  • Remove everything from office closet
  • Clean Lexy's office
  • Clean out craft closet
  • Repair drywall in craft closet
  • Combine offices
  • Move computer (figure out how to get stronger internet signal back there)
  • Move office sofa and cabinet to sunroom
  • Sell desk
  • Move guest room furniture into its new room
  • Hang fan in new guest room
  • Buy dresser for Baby J's nursery
  • Buy knobs to update dresser
  • Deep clean new nursery while empty
  • Hang fan in nursery
  • Paint nursery
  • Attach dressers to wall in nursery
  • Evaluate nursery closet situation
  • Order art for nursery
  • Order vinyl wall décor for nursery
  • Order decorations for nursery
  • Order name blocks for new baby
  • Strip and Wash all Newborn cloth diapers
  • Sort and Wash all Newborn Clothes
  • Contact Liz about my Newborn and Maternity clothes I lent her
  • Disinfect all baby toys (swings, RnPs, bouncers, etc)
  • Sort and put away all clothes in Master Bedroom
  • Find space in Master closets for the rest of the clothes that used to be in the guest room (DONATE)
  • Get dead tree removed
  • Get sprinklers looked at
  • Make a plan for replanting flower beds and reseeding grass in front and back. Hire a landscape designer?
  • Attach dresser to wall in boys room
  • Work on toy storage in game room
  • Get china hutch refinished
  • Move china and crystal from game room cabinet into china hutch in dining room
  • Sell old car
  • Buy "Coming Home Outfit"
  • Buy Big Bro/Little Bro Outfits
Every Single crossed off thing, we did this weekend! The things in Italic are all to be sold and are all listed for sale so we are just waiting. The three things in yellow are our next projects. We have a donation truck coming to our neighborhood on June 6 so this all needs done in time to take advantage of that. The rest needs done. Someday soon. Hmph.


Sadie Sky Boutique



May 26, 2014

Favorites in Red, White, and Blue

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope between the splash pads, pools, BBQs, and fun of the three day weekend you were able to take a moment to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Freedom isn't free (It costs a buck o Don't tell me I'm the only person who loved that movie?!?) Today we honor and remember all the fallen heroes.


In honor of Memorial Day, this month's Favorite Things party is all about the Red, White, and Blue. I'm linking up with Andrea at Momfessionals to share some favorite things under $10.


My darlings in leggings and teepee shirts from J2Boutique.

Currently, little boys (and girls but I don't have any of those) leggings are really topping my favorite things list. They come in great patterns, are cozy and comfortable, protect toddler knees from all of the (many, many, many) falls and wrestling matches, aren't hot like pants, and look cute to boot! My husband objects to the word leggings for boys - So maybe they're skinny pants?

I have found most of my favorite leggings on etsy and Instagram and love that they are handmade by small businesses. Finding some under $10 is a bit of a challenge though! Never fear I did it!


In RED: This pair isn't exactly a legging. Well, it isn't a legging at all. But, these are red lounge pants made from upcycled t-shirts. How great is that! Picture wrapping your legs in your favorite worn in t-shirt! I want a pair for me. I don't own any of these pants for the boys, but I want to! Especially the star pair. Sadly, my huge mama guilt when I dress them differently and then second guess why I put which kid in which outfit since I clearly prefer one outfit over the other makes it hard for me to buy these since they are all one of a kid. I'm going to have to get over my weird guilt issues though because for $10 these are a steal!


In WHITE: I adore these Tom and Jerry leggings! So fun! So whimsical! So easy to wear. They're dirty right now and I don't have any pictures of the boys wearing them, so this stock photo will have to do (sorry!). These are comfy, well made, and seem to wash well - although I've only pre-washed so this next wash will be the big test! And they are only $9.95! This same seller has two pairs in blue for the 6-12 month crowd - a great blue camo (for only $5.95!) and an all American baseball pattern (for $9.95). Very cute!


In BLUE: This legging seller has leggings for $10 as well. I ordered this black leggings with white crosses last week and can't wait until they ship. They will go with everything. I also ordered an awesome blue geometric tank top that was on sale (for only $6!). Well, this same fun geometric blue is available in a legging! Too cute!

May 23, 2014

HUGE exciting dissertation news [five on friday linkup]


I finished the rough draft of my dissertation!!


I know that it is going to require ALL of the red pens. It needs a lot of additions and editing and clarifications, but I wrote something. And someday it might resemble a dissertation!!! I know this is only my first rough draft and I have a lot of work left to do, but I am so incredibly, ridiculously proud of myself.

When I sent my rough draft on to my committee chair, I so desperately wanted to put a bottle of champagne on ice to chill. But, the whole pregnant thing. So, I just fondly remembered our time in Napa and dreamed of the day we will open one of the bottles of champagne we bought at Iron Horse Vineyards in the Russian River Valley.


In the bottling room at Iron Horse.
Fifth Anniversary trip September 2011.

And now, I'm totally off for the next few days while I wait to hear from my committee chair who is currently on vacation. I feel so freeeeeeee!



Someday I will have to explain to the boys that they can't go to college because mommy spent all the money on etsy. Today isn't that day. Today I'm loving some of the cute things I've bought lately! And I'm really really ready for them to be at my house. Is it sad that almost everything I've bought is for the boys? Honestly, I need nothing. And they're much cuter than me. I'll post photos once my packages arrive. Until then, does anyone have a seller for big brother/little brother they love? I need to get on ordering these since this new little guy arrives in just nine weeks!



A few weeks back, I asked for suggestions on "child safety tethers" (post here). Well, over the weekend we pulled the trigger and bought two backpacks for the boys to wear to their first Rangers game (full post about that amazing experience here.) I know they are controversial, but I put my twins safety above any possible judgment from other mamas. Granted it was only one experience, but I was impressed. We still chose to hold the boys hands, but when one tried to break free (and they always do!) we had backup.


Perhaps my favorite picture ever: Casey walking with his boys at a baseball game.
And then one tried to break free.
I did go help (but not until after I got a picture!).


Everyone needs a little humor in their lives. If you haven't seen this hilarious article, "Why Being a Toddler is Tough", on Huffington Post, stop everything and go read it now. Seriously. Go.



The twins nursery got full blog posts as I made progress and worked on it. This poor little guy still doesn't have a room. I mean, we have a room. It's currently the guest room and COVERED in boxes and things that need to go in the attic. This weekend we are buckling down and getting that room emptied so that nursery painting and planning can begin. I intended to put an self shaming photo here so I could post an after later and be really proud of myself, but I'm comfy blogging from bed and don't feel like getting up to take one. So, no self shaming picture.


This weeks blog posts:

  • We took the boys to their first Rangers game on Sunday and I posted all about it with ridiculous twin cuteness.
  • I posted a pretty deep prayer life post about praying for my sons future spouses. I posted what I pray and why. If you don't pray for your child's future mate, consider adding it to your prayer list!
  • A review of our May Citrus Lane box.
  • A #finishthis post with beliefs, boundaries and some pretty serious self reflection of choosing to live and thrive not just survive.
  • Talking about Mommy Guilt and my second major panic attack of this pregnancy: the guilt I am ending the twins babyhood and ending our time together to welcome this new little guy.


Join in and link up with A. Liz Adventures, Hello! Happiness, The Good Life Blog and Carolina Charm for Five on Friday!


May 22, 2014

Panic Attack 2: Mommy Guilt


I’m pretty sure it’s the insane pregnancy hormones coursing through my body because I’m not normally this sappy, but I am already struggling with the fact that it won’t just be the twins and I anymore. In just 9 weeks (tops!) another little booger will join ourthreesome. For the past 16 months it has just been the three of us. We’re a team. For the majority of the day - every single day and even some nights – the three of us have been together.

But now, this third little boy will be around. And goodness knows I love him already. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to welcome a new life into the world. It wasn't long ago we were told we would never have children. This little boy is truly a blessing! But he isn’t quite real yet. I haven’t counted his little toes. I haven’t smelled his baby smell. Theoretically, he exists. Theoretically, he is mine. Theoretically, he will come home with us within the next two months. I know I'm pregnant. Obviously I’m large. I feel him flipping and moving. And seriously, he is a mover and shaker! I get more moving and flipping and kicking out of him than I did TWO babies last pregnancy. But he is still just theoretical. I haven’t met him yet.

I find myself looking at Tripp who has his own opinions on everything. He has no wants. He just has NEEDS that must be met RIGHT THIS MOMENT before the WHOLE WORLD ENDS. He is full of confidence and so sure of his place. I find myself looking at Davy who is so curious and independent. He wants to understand and do everything. I find myself noticing the nuances of their little personalities and getting excited by how unique they each are. I find myself thinking wistfully of the moments I am sure to miss because of the new baby. How long will it be before I can focus my attention on Tripp and Davy again?


My last Mother's Day with just these two.

And cue the mommy guilt.

I don’t think a day is complete unless I feel guilty or insecure about something. I frequently wish I had an extra set of hands so I could play with both boys at once. I always feel like I need to make sure I am perfectly equally dividing my time. Heck, I even feel guilty when I don’t dress the twins alike because I wonder if there is some significance to putting the shirt I like better on a particular child that day. Some days, I just feel guilty for wasting time feeling guilty. And now I feel guilty that in just 9 short weeks the twins’ whole world will be turned upside down.


Two boys who have captured my whole heart.
Future big brothers!

How are they going to react to a new baby? What will they think when they see me holding him and snuggling him? Will they know I still love them? Will they know I still have time for them? The rational part of my brain knows that they won’t remember this stage. They are too young. And so it really won’t traumatize them. But, I’m pregnant and the rational part of my brain is on vacation.

What is it about motherhood that causes so much guilt? You all know I am a nerd (of the researching, PhD desiring variety). So I of course looked for some facts and numbers. I stumbled across a book called Mommy Guilt (or paperback link if you prefer) by Julie Bort , Aviva Pflock, and Devra Renner which included a huge survey. I found alot of comfort in the results. A whopping 96% of moms admitted they felt guilty about some aspect of parenting. (I can only assume the other 4% are in denial.) And really making me feel better, when older moms were asked what stage they felt the most guilt about the most common response was the toddler years (27%).The things they felt guilty about were all pretty relatable too. They felt guilty for yelling, for the messy house, over time with their spouse, about setting aside their own education or career to stay home, about fairly dividing time and resources between children. These are all the things I’m struggling with. The overall message of the book seems to be “You are not alone.” It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t give huge advice.It does provide the “Seven Principles of the Mommy Guilt-Free Philosophy” which I like. A lot.




I also find comfort in scripture. Romans 8:37 says, “But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us.” My guilt and my mistakes (and my sins) as a mother aren't defeat. I am still victorious because I don't have to do this on my own. I can't do this on my own. This isn't about me. This is about God and His glory. He chose now for this little guy to arrive on earth. He has a bigger plan. It is in Christ and through Christ that I will overcome these challenges and Christ will work in Tripp and Davy to help them overcome too. I might never get my act fully together, but Christ will keep us thriving. He has a plan for this baby and for our family and despite all of the challenges, because of Him, we will conquer!



The realization that my baby boys are going to be big brothers makes me want to cry. In fact, some nights it actually makes me tear up. (Some nights with happy, excited tears. Other nights I mourn the loss of their babyhood. Other nights I'm panicked about a newborn.) But I know that Tripp and Davy won’t ever remember a time without Baby J** in their lives. I know that these three boys will grow up together. They will be lifetime friends. They will be brothers. With only 18 months between them, they will throw balls together. They will climb trees together. They will be boys together. They will become men together. They will be constant companions, constant friends, and constant playmates.

It won’t always be rosy. It certainly won’t be easy. But in just a few short months, J will be in my arms and in my heart. He will be inextricably a part of our family. And I won’t be able to picture my family any other way.



**Yes, I did just drop a name clue. It feels wrong to keep calling him new baby or baby3. No, I will not tell ANYONE what the name is. No,it is not set in stone yet. Yes, I am about to order him a personalized little brother shirt with the name on it. But, when he is born he might never wear his personalized shirt because we might change our minds when we meet him.

For some other great reads, you can look at my first panic attack of this pregnancy when I remembered just how stinkin hard it is to be a new mom.

Check out my first panic attack post here.


You can also go to The Not Quite Military Wife to see other blogs on mommy guilt. The expertise of other moms is invaluable!

The Not Quite Military Wife: One Year And Beyond



May 21, 2014

Citrus Lane May Review and [finish this linkup]

Last month, I blogged about our Citrus Lane subscription box contents and reviewed the value proposition. As I said in that post, in our now 11 months with Citrus Lane we have had boxes we loved and some misses. Before I am up for renewal, I need to decide if the monthly box subscription is worth renewing.

Read my April Citrus Lane Review here.
Read my review from our first month as Citrus Lane subscribers here.


This month we received:

  • Sand mold and track roller from Hape Toys: Hape Toys is a kids toy brand we love and have a few toys from. Like Green Toys, last months Citrus Lane toy company, Hape makes high quality, well constructed, basic, imaginative toys. These sand toys don't appear to be an exception. They are adorable and sturdy. I'm struggling to decide how sand toys add into our value proposition though. While our water table could hold sand, for now we are choosing to not deal with the mess. While we are taking the boys to the beach this year, it won't be until November. The simple fact that the sand mold we received is of the Parthenon and brings me happy memories of our honeymoon might just push this over into the valuable category. The Parthenon sand mold is available on amazon for $5.63 and the track roller is $7.99, also on Amazon.
  • Hero Bento Box from Goodbyn This is another high quality item I'm not sure what to think of. If my boys were in preschool, this would be amazing! But they aren't. If we did zoo or museum trips more frequently, this would be amazing. But we don't. As is, I don't need to take a lunch for the boys very frequently. If I did, I would want this nice large sized Bento Box though. I have one similarly sized bento I love to use for leftovers in the fridge so I have a complete and ready to go lunch the next day. This container might be used for that. I have a feeling this will get a lot of use in the future even if it isn't heavily used right away. Determining the value for this product was difficult because it isn't for sale in the US yet. Based on the price in Australia, I guess this will sell for around $20 when it hits shelves around here.
  • Wooden Puzzle from Melissa and Doug This chunky wooden transportation puzzle is adorable! The boys love the dinosaur and farm puzzles they already have from Melissa and Doug and I think this is a great addition. I was so excited to see this in our box. You can get yourself a chunky puzzle for $9.99 on amazon.
  • Fresh Feet Wipes from Jasmine Seven These are pretty weird. They are baby wipes specifically for stinky kid feet. I have to admit I don't get it. They sell for $6.76 on amazon but don't have any reviews for me to try and glean insight into the product. No value for me here.
  • Cookies from Back to Nature This individual sized bag of cookies is worth roughly $1 and will make a yummy snack for this pregnant mama. It's hard to complain about food!
  • A coupon for Just like I don't see the value in sample size products, I find a coupon a pretty useless thing to pay for in my box. No value. At all.
The total value of this box is $51.37. Wow! That's really high. If we only use the puzzle and lunchbox we were well ahead of our cost. While I don't know that we need "good" sand toys, I have no doubt we would buy some kind of sand toys in November so we will get some amount of value from those. And the cookies will be eaten. The only miss this month is the confusing foot wipes. And maybe someone will explain them to me and I'll appreciate them later. Or maybe they'll still just seem like repackaged, over priced baby wipes.


If you would like to subscribe to Citrus Lane, use my link and you get 50% off of your first month and I get store credits so I can try it out for one more month!




And now a few Wednesday questions:

My favorite recipe is … easy, quick, and I have all the ingredients on hand. And now, it's dairy free.

I love a good homemade sloppy joe. I love homemade chicken and dumplings (it isn't easy. or quick. but I love them!) Sadly, most of my favorite "go to" recipes have dairy in them and with a son with a milk protein allergy that doesn't work well. So, my favorite sour cream chicken enchiladas don't get made anymore. And Casey's comfort meal of cheesy chicken and rice casserole is out. I do love to cook, but lately I have found myself in a spaghetti, baked chicken, sloppy joe, tacos, and baked fish (almost always honey maple glazed salmon) kind of rut so I'm really looking forward to your recipes! Hopefully a few of them end up being dairy free!


I believe in … God our Father. I believe in Jesus Christ the Son. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in the resurrection. I believe in miracles. I believe Jesus will come again. I believe my faith is one of the most important things about me. It is my highest priority. It defines me. And I hope to someday be a person who is recognized by strangers for my faith.

There is nothing more I want than to raise Godly children in a Godly home. I want to be an example for them. I want my sons to grow up knowing that even in this sometimes horrible and broken world, Jesus loves them. God loves them. Daddy and I love them.

I believe in the power of prayer. It works in my life to enact change. It works in my heart to change me. I wrote this week about my prayers for my children's future spouses. I should probably write someday about the prayers I say for my boys. I pray over them and for them daily.


I need to set boundaries … for my toddlers. They have reached the age where they have so many opinions and so many things they need to do RIGHT NOW. They NEED to pick up the metal decorations on the fireplace. They NEED to eat the dog food. They NEED to slam the door in brothers face. They NEED to run the wrong way across Ikea. They NEED to throw their sippy cup. Again. And again.

But they don't understand no.

In fact, Tripp thinks the word is funny. Both boys have associated some behaviors with the word no and say "no, no, no" while throwing a sippy cup, but they don't have any comprehension of what no means (they just think that's what mom calls that fun activity!). I need to come up with a plan for enforcing boundaries and starting to work on discipline. I have reserved Love and Logic at the library and hope to go grab it this weekend and get reading.


I began living when … I was born on December 31, 1984.

Okay obviously not the answer the question was looking for.

I began living when I realized it was about more than surviving. For me, this happened during one of the darkest periods of my life when my husband and I were deep in the midst of our battle with infertility. I began to realize just how deep pain could be. I started to see how high faith and hope could take me. I wrote some of my least read, most poignant, most spiritual and heartfelt posts during that time. I wrote about my hope, a post based in large part on a quote I wrote down out of an online devotional and can't properly source because I didn't write down that part. I wrote about how easy is it is to succumb to bitterness and jealousy. I wrote the post in the context of infertility, but it applies so much more broadly. Moms compare their children and feel like they aren't measuring up and get jealous. We see someone else's business success and know we work just as hard and get bitter that we aren't as successful. Jealousy needs conquered in all aspects of life!

When I realized that bitterness and despair and hopelessness were choices, I stopped just surviving. I may not choose my struggles. I might not choose my path. I might not get my fairy tale ending. I might hate the ending I get. But, I choose to live not survive!


Join in the fun and "Finish This," by finishing the above prompts and linking up your post with the hosts of this party: Nicole {Three 31} Lisa {Coastlined}, and Becky {The Java Mama}.






May 20, 2014

She's Out There

When we started trying to have kids, I started praying. Not just for us and for our future child, but for another set of parents out there somewhere embarking on the parenthood journey as well. For these people would be my child's future in-laws.

When we found out we were pregnant, I prayed. Not just for the baby babies I was carrying but for another mom moms out there somewhere. I prayed for that mom those moms and her their health. I prayed for a healthy pregnancy for all of us. I prayed that she had someone to support her and treasure her and lean on through her pregnancy. I prayed for the health of the baby girls.

When we found out both twins were boys, I prayed. I prayed that I could be a good boymom. I prayed that I could raise good and Godly men. I prayed for their future wives. I prayed for their future families and future relationships.

Now, praying for these mystery women isn't something I do everyday. Everyday I pray for my sons. I pray for their character, their spirit, their unique little personalities. I pray they will grow into the type of godly men who will attract a godly woman. And occasionally God stirs my heart and I pray for that woman. I pray for her the days my own marriage feels like work - those days Casey and I feel disconnected. I pray for her on those perfect days when my marriage grows stronger and my heart overflows with joy. I pray for her anytime I hear of a friend in a struggling relationship or going through a divorce. I pray for her when I hear of a friend who has found his/her match.


Here is what I pray:

I pray she knows The Father loves her. Knowing a father's love is huge for anyone, particularly little girls. Much research focuses on the fact that girls will find a man to say they love them. If it isn't their dad or a positive male role model, it is likely to be the 16 year old boy down the street who sweet talks them into bed. The girl I pray for is too young for those concerns yet, but she isn't too young for a father's love. She also isn't too young for The Father's love.

I pray she is naive. I don't mean I pray she is gullible and clueless. I pray she doesn't focus on the horribleness of the 24hr news cycle and the gruesome things that happen in this world. I pray she has hope even when things seem hopeless. I pray she believes in the good in people. I pray she loves and serves others. I pray she is sweet.

I pray she loves Jesus. If she doesn't knows He loves her, and she doesn't keep her sweet, but she loves Jesus, she will be okay. Because this last thing, this most important thing, it drives everything. A deep seated love and relationship with Christ will bring back the sweet, the naïveté. It will help her love and accept herself enough to confidently go forward knowing He loves her. So above all, I pray she is madly in love, obsessed even, with Jesus!

I'm just a mortal mom and I want the world for my boys. So obviously I want her to be pretty, be smart, be talented, have great friends, be witty, laugh at his jokes, have parents I enjoy spending holidays with, be driven, be his true match. But if she loves Jesus, the rest will fall into place!

So I pray.




May 19, 2014

For It's Root, Root, Root for the Texas Rangers

When I found out I was going to be a boymom, I started getting excited about boy mom things. Yes, I might never host a formal tea or have a princess visit my house, but boys are all kinds of rough and tumble fun! This weekend, we checked off a huge little boy milestone: their first baseball game! And it was a blast!

First game certificates available at the promotions desk
near the home plate entrance.

We started off late because of naptime. Both boys have colds (and on again and off again fevers) and we decided not to wake them from their nap so we left our house at 2:30. The first pitch was at 2:05. Oops. But obviously we had to take a few pictures before we left. I choose to believe the boys were angry because we were missing the baseball game.

The best shot I got :(
Happy 30th Birthday Present Daddy!
A hug for Daddy.

We knew the boys wouldn't last for nine innings so missing the first few turned out to be okay. They were scoreless anyway! While we were unloading the boys from the car we heard the roar of the stadium when the Rangers scored in the 4th and then got to see the home run in the 7th and scores in the 8th! We left before the game was over but got to watch a few solid innings of baseball! All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful first game and a great 30th birthday present for Daddy.

But enough of my rambling, let's get to the part you actually want -- cute twin photos!

Matching outfits. Matching spare outfits. Ready for the game!
Tripp and I at our seats right after we arrived
Tripp showing off our view.
Great seats in the shade on the first base side on the Lexus Club Level.
(Shade was key!)
Davy couldn't take his eyes off the field for the first 20 minutes. He was entranced!
Daddy walking with his boys.
Perhaps one of my favorite pictures of all time.
In the concourse.
Daddy/Tripp selfie.
Family fun!
Right before we left.
Daddy took this picture of Tripp as we were leaving.
Was Tripp crying because we were leaving?
Or were we leaving because he was crying?
You decide!

We didn't do anything huge.  We didn't have to spend a lot of money. But the boys were SO happy. They smiled. They flirted. They waved at all the people. They attempted to climb in laps of the people sitting around us (with the folks permission - we don't let them run wild!). They loved their first game.  And it is a day that is burned into my memory as an amazing first!

Sadie Sky Boutique