This post is more a reminder to myself than anything. Feel free to skip reading it. But, I’ve been stressed, tired, and emotional lately (or in summary, I've been pregnant, nauseous, and in pain!) and I’ve been allowing it to shape my interactions with the boys (or at least with the oldest two!).
|Tripp and Davy at 3 months|
So, a swift kick in the behind to remind me that these boys will not always be this little. Despite their typical one year old behavior like throwing everything, laughter every time I say no, intentional feeding of the dog, etc, - or maybe not despite, maybe, BECAUSE of their typical joyful one year old behavior I need to remember this time with them – - the good, the bad & the ugly. Because before I know it, they will be brooding, hormonal teenagers who won’t want to snuggle or hug anymore. Yes, I know it is a terrible cliche, but dang, time goes by so fast. Exhibit A -- it's already been over a year!
|Tripp and Davy at 12 months|
Dear Tripp and Davy,
- Even when I am frustrated and think I am at the end of my rope about to lose it all and I am dreaming (sometimes out loud) about bedtime (both yours and mine), all it takes is smile. Or a wave. Or, the best ever, one of you crawling or toddling over for a hug or cuddle and I melt. I am forever yours and those little moments are a constant reminder.
A reminder that I love you more than life itself.
A reminder that I love you with an all consuming, passionate love that will not end.
A reminder that no matter the time, the distance, the space, I will love you forever. Nothing you will ever do or not do or say or think or be will change this. Nothing.
You should also know, the love I have for you has only made me love your daddy more. There are times when I watch the three of you together and I feel like my heart might just burst. Soon I'll be watching four of you and wow! the joy of watching daddy with another itty bitty turns me into a big puddle of goo.
- You amaze my daily and I am honored to have the privilege of watching you learn and grow. I know that this will only get more miraculous as you get older. Watching a little person learn about the world and how to do things that we as adults take for granted is a great reminder of the enchantment in the world.
Gravity? So cool! Every time you drop your blanket out of the crib it falls to the ground.
Cause and effect? Wow! Every time you open the barn door it moos. Every time you use your feet to push your high chair away from the table you can't reach your food anymore.
Watching the determination on your little faces as you try to get the toy ball into the hole over and over again gives me a glimpse into your future. A future filled with hope, promise, and unlimited possibilities just as long as you keep that can do attitude!
- I love that you will try any food I set in front if you. No hesitation. No testing it out. Just full on shove each bite in. Sometimes they immediately get spit out. And that's okay. But never lose that sense of adventure and willingness to try new things.
Throw caution to the wind and jump in with both feet!
But boys, please please please stop throwing food!
- I love that you both have your own identities and even though you are together all the time I can clearly see that you are so very different. I love watching your personalities come to life and develop.
Tripp and Davy, you complement each other so well and I love watching you play and interact.
- I love being your mommy. The few and far between moments when I am away from you, I can't wait to return. I cannot wait to see your eyes light up when I walk into the room. Although I do look forward to the day that the excitement isn't immediately followed by tears.
Right now, in your eyes, I can do no wrong. I know the day will come when, in your eyes, I will do no right. But I'm going to remember these moments when you needed me. When we laughed together. When we played together. And let them sustain me.
Boys, we have our good days and we have our bad days, but even on the bad days, there are no two people I'd rather be with than you.
You made me a mom.
You make me a better wife.
You make me a better person.
You humble me daily.
You show me true joy.
You taught me how to love unconditionally.
I am excited for our journey together. Together we will learn how to become a family of five. We'll get through this together.
So, thanks (in advance) for your patience.
Thanks for not holding grudges.
Thanks for helping me grow into the woman and mother God intended me to be.
Thanks for being you!
I love you always and forever!