Aug 6, 2012

The Bedrest Blues and our Florida Vacation

I'm going to talk about my experiences thus far with bed rest, because really what else do I have to talk about.  I've been on bed rest for a weeks now.  I don't do anything interesting.

I know you're thinking "I would love to be on bed rest. It sounds like a vacation!" or "Enjoy the rest now, because you're having twins!", but the reality is no vacation. 

This was a vacation.

We spent last week on vacation in Florida.  My RE gave us permission to travel and put me on modified "beach chair rest." I had an amazing time!

Flying was no where near as bad or painful as I imagined it might be (So now I am REALLY glad we didn't drive.  I would have needed to test out every gas station rest room between Dallas and Florida and I'm sure there as some through Louisiana and Mississippi I'm happier never visiting!) We arrived in Orlando on Friday with no issues and began the drive to Ormond Beach.

On Saturday, our friends Matt and Kathryn drove down from Charleston and it was amazing seeing them!  We did absolutely nothing (seriously we didn't even swim!) other than sit around, chat. and eat. I didn't get a single picture with them.* Sad panda. Sunday afternoon, they left to begin the drive back to Charleston. Sad sad panda. It was really great catching up and I can't wait until Kathryn graduates and we can have a longer visit (Good luck Kathryn!).

The rest of the days all blur together.  I had a few really rough nights (one is detailed in this post), but for the most part our days were great.  We slept in until 9ish, ate breakfast, spent a few hours in a lounge chair, headed back up the elevator to the condo for lunch and nap time.  Nap time took most of the afternoon and by the time I woke up, I would hang out on the patio enjoying time with my family until dinner.  After dinner we walked down to put our feet in the ocean a few nights, although some nights I wasn't up for that much walking and so we curled in front of the TV to cheer on Team USA in the Olympics.

Photos above are stolen from my BIL and SILs FB pages*

Unlike many years, Casey and I didn't ever go walk the cute little boutiques, we didn't drive to St. Augustine to walk the cobblestone streets, we didn't do a day at the outlets, we didn't do a Disney day.  We really just relaxed at the resort the entire week.  And the week FLEW BY.  Before we knew it, it was Thursday night and the folks that drove were packing cars preparing for the long journey home.

That folks was a vacation.  It was fun. It was relaxing.  I didn't spend every day alone in my house wondering about all of the things that could be wrong or go wrong with Pip and Pop.  I was surrounded by my family and people who love me and I love.  Casey and I got to spend good, quality time together.  It was an amazing week.

And then it ended.

You are still trying to figure out what this has to be with bed rest I'm sure. You are still thinking "I would love to be on bed rest. It sounds like a vacation!" or "Enjoy the rest now, because you're having twins!", but the reality is this is not an extended spa visit with attendants waiting on me handing and foot. No one is around to feed me grapes and bon-bons or fan me with palm leaves or plumes. In fact, no one is around.

Casey leaves for work each day around 5:45 to make it to the office for a 6:00AM call. Some days he runs a bit late and doesn't leave until 6:00 and has to listen to the call in the car. Either way, he is out of the house before I wake up. He works long hours to support us and isn't home until after 6 most nights. There was a time he used to get home around 5:00, but it has been a long time since that has been his norm, although their is still the occasional early Friday.

This means that I am alone in my house with only Rory for company ALL DAY. I have days in my head when I make this out to be pure torture, but for the most part I am able to focus on how happy and excited I am to finally be pregnant after trying for so so long. I will so anything it takes to keep these babies safe, and if that means restricted activity, full bed rest, or the less restrictive modified bed rest, I am completely willing.

But, after such a great week, I am now even more aware just how lonely and sad being on bed rest is.  I sit at home with a book, the TV, my iPad, twitter (and my amazing tweeps), some phone calls from friends, but really I do nothing.  I have attempted to work on my dissertation, but I can't sit at the computer for a long period of time without causing cramping to start, so I don't get to work.  I'm just a human incubator.

Florida reminded me on the life I used to live.  It reminded me of the fun I used to have.  It was a taste of what could be.  It makes it even harder to accept my prison sentence bed rest. 

After my last visit to the RE, my sentence continues.  And I will willingly continue to watch amazing Olympic events (seriously, did you see yesterday's soccer game! The goal with 30 seconds remaining by Alex Morgan - incredible!).  I will willingly read the poorly written free books from the kindle store (because at a book a day I can't keep buying best sellers).  I will willingly make my way through every Law and Order and Law and Order: SVU episode.  I will do anything to keep Pip and Pop healthy.  But I do miss my life.  I miss my friends.  I miss being able to hang out.  I miss going places.  I miss me.

A few pros and cons of bed rest:

1. I am able to focus on growing healthy babies.  I am not dealing with the pressures and stresses of life.
2. Casey is absolutely amazing and has truly stepped up.  He is cooking, cleaning, shopping, taking care of me, taking care of the dog, and still going to work every day. I don't know where I would be without him!
3. I have plenty of time to read pregnancy books and twin books and get excited about babies!
4. I have learned of so many wonderful people who love both Casey and I.  We are so blessed to have so many prayer warriors speaking to God on our behalf.  Pip and Pop are both so loved already! Without all of these complications and problems I don't believe we ever would have realized all of these inspirational Christian examples in our lives.

1. I spend a lot of time stressing that I am not completing my dissertation.  If I don't write it now before they come, how will I ever finish and graduate?!? But if my max time at a computer is about an hour before cramping and pain start, I can't even run my Stata files in that time.  People keep telling me to just sit and write now while I have time, but I don't know how to do it when too much time in a hard chair leaves me in tears.  And feeling more stressed.
2. I am constantly reminded that Casey is doing everything while I just lay there and watch.
3. I have plenty of time to read pregnancy books and twin books and learn all of the awful, scary things that can happen. Dr. Google is certainly not my friend.
4. The only contact I get with these amazing people is via twitter, facebook, email, or phone calls.  Actually, I've cheated on bed rest and been to church a few Sundays and so have been able to see a few people there at least!

My Bed Rest Calendar:

June 6th: Egg Retrieval
June 9th: Enlarged Ovaries. Placed on Full Bed Rest
June 12th: Embryo Transfer. Bed Rest For Five Days
June 16th: Back to my normally scheduled life.
June 20th: OHSS diagnosis.  Placed on restricted activity.
June 27th: Weight loss day.  OHSS resolution seems eminent.  Back to my normally scheduled life.
July 9th: OHSS returned.  Worse than before.  Placed on Full Bed Rest.
July 11th: SCH found. One more reason for bed rest.
July 26th: Bed rest changed to modified bed rest.  Some restrictions lifted.  Reminded to get enough walking around the house to minimize risk of blood clots.
August 6th: Last appt with RE.  Modified bed rest continues.  Described more like the previous restricted activity. Decide I'm okay to drive again (thank goodness!).

*Not getting pictures is what happens when you drop the camera taking this photo.  We are currently camera-less!  Well, we have iPhone photos.  We are currently shopping for another camera.  Post coming later asking for camera advice!

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