Jul 17, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

This afternoon we had another appointment with our RE (well actually, with one of his wonderful nurses who we adore).

The Good: Pip and Pop both measured 8w0d, which is slightly ahead of schedule (we are 7w5d) and were 1.59cm and 1.60cm. They have shifted positions and are a bit more side by side instead of one above the other. They looked great! Once again, we could see their little heartbeats flickering away. It is so amazing to see heartbeats - I can only imagine all of the emotions of hearing the heartbeats for the first time in a few weeks. We could also see black voids in the middle of their heads which are their little brains forming! We saw our babies brains!

The Bad: The cyst on my left ovary is still HUGE. For perspective, in the image above each baby is 1.6cm and takes up that tiny portion of the sonogram image. When looking at this particular cyst, it takes up the entire sonogram monitor! Their are several smaller cysts also on the left and at least four large cysts on the right. The nurse commented that most women would be complaining of pain on the right side due to the size of the cysts, but all I can feel are the sharp pains on the left side! While my ovaries are still very enlarged and filled with these fluid-filled cysts, their is very little free fluid still in my abdomen! So that's progress at least. The OHSS is going away.

The Ugly: Last week, they found a small bleed inside of my uterus and recommended I stay off of my feet and hope it reabsorbs. At today's appointment, we learned the bleed has grown! I am so frustrated! Their is nothing medically that can be done to help the bleeding. All that I (or modern medicine) can do is keep me off my feet. Casey spent 10+ minutes asking questions at the appointment trying to understand exactly what I can a cannot do and what warning signs we should look for. He also spent the evening reassuring me that it will all be okay! (He is truly an amazing husband!) I think we both feel pretty powerless right now. We already love Pip and Pop so much and it is really hard to be told to just wait it out. We both want to do something to make this better, but their is nothing to be done but pray and know God is watching over them. Luckily, we had dinner plans with a sweet couple from our church tonight and it was a great distraction seeing them and their delightful kids instead of focusing on our fears.


  1. Hi, Alexis!

    Pregnancy is so exciting and so scary all at the same time! I'm so sorry you're having these troubles. I had hoped that once pregnant, you would enjoy a smoother ride. These babies will be worth the trouble, though!

    Also, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you. The last week and a half has been harrowing for those of us following the progress of Drake and Kennedy, and I've considered the fact that it must be especially heart-wrenching for you. Everybody's experience is different, so please try not to worry too much that you'll also have such a rocky ride. My sister's pregnancy/NICU stay was relatively easy, and she had her babies much later in the game. All you can do is all you can do! These are God's angels and He's in control. :)

    Hopefully, I'm way in left field and you think I'm a crazy lady for making such a comment, but just in case this is something that's weighing on you, we wanted you to know that you, Casey, Pip and Pop are in our prayers too.

    1. So far I've done pretty well focusing on them and not how annoying being home in bed is. I am so fortunate to have my family close by, an incredibly supportive husband, and really great people in my life leaving me words of encouragement, dropping by with meals, calling etc. it ha made it so much easier for me to remain positive (although bed rest is not good for optimism -- too much time to consult Dr. Google!)

      I have been so terrified and inspired keeping up with Drake and Kennedy. While I have certainly shed a lot of tears that it is possible for us, I am so inspired by the faith of Brian and Annie to worry too much. Reading about the way they are handling the situation and seeing the progress Drake and Kennedy are both making has just given me so much hope! I am also lucky to know two amazing twin mamas who have given birth in the past year who each did brief NICU stays but are doing just fine now. I think I am also able to see hope in their success stories.

      Most of my life I've been a pretty optimistic person. I went through a period during infertility treatments when my optimism slipped away from me - but luckily it seems to back!!

      Thank you so so much for the prayers! We really appreciate them! As frustrating as it feels. I keep reminding myself that praying IS doing something and it is all we can really do right now to protect P&P!

  2. Hi, I came across your blog when searching about ivf, and kept reading to see your updates!

    My husband and I have a 15 month old son from a previous ivf, and just found out that our most recent (and last one we could afford) ivf was also successful. :) We chose to put only one back and it took. We are very blessed.

    Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I had very similar bleeding found on my US early with my son (a subchorionic hematoma, I believe it is called), which is more common with ivf I was told. I, too, was really scared and also upset that there was something more to worry about--we wanted to just be able to relax and enjoy being pregnant! But, my RE said that nearly all subchorionic hematomas resolve on their own by the 20th week at the latest, and he was right-- mine did go away and caused no problems with my son. I went back for monitoring every few weeks, and it got bigger before it started getting smaller, but I just wanted to let you know all my doctors did not seem very concerned about it, just wanted to monitor it.

    I wish you and your husband a happy and healthy 9 months!

    1. Thanks for that. I appreciate hearing success stories! Were you on bed rest for the sch? If I'm on bedrest until 20 weeks I think I'll go crazy!!

    2. I know what you mean...! But actually, I was not advised bed rest even when the sch got bigger (I was told it was moderately large), OB just said to try to stay off my feet as much as possible--I am a teacher, so they know I was on my feet just about all day! Now, I did not have other factors like OHSS making me feel worse, nor was I carrying two beans!

      My RE said that he did not believe bed rest helped; that they just resolved on their own. I think mine went finally went away at 18 weeks, but it was getting smaller by 14 weeks.

      Try to stay sane while on bed rest! :)

  3. Yay for heartbeats and good looking babies!!! =) Praying that the bleed clears up soon! So glad you have such a strong support system! One of my fears is being put on bedrest, but I think that's more because I have 2 little ones already and my husband can't take time off work or he doesn't get paid. haha.

    I'll keep praying for you and for peace and healing!