If I needed a physical sign of my commitment to motherhood, I have it.
Actually, I have two.
Today I went in to see my general practitioner. Yep, I saw a regular old doctor about something non-fertility related!**
While I was there, they had me get on a scale.
Cruel, cruel doctor.
Very cruel man.
I haven't gotten on a scale since January. I have felt the pounds packing on with every successive fertility treatment and drug. I can feel my clothes getting tighter. I have jeans I no longer attempt to wear. I was told to expect weight gain of 5-10 pounds per cycle on clomid. But I knew I hadn't gained that much. I still buy size medium dresses. I'm only up one pants size. Well, I have gained A LOT more than I thought.
To the tune of 24 pounds.
I think some of that is still the water retention and swelling from last weeks surgery (You can still see the swelling around my abdomen. The RE said it should be gone by next week sometime.) but most of that gain is me.
There is not much I can do to stop the weight gain. I eat pretty gosh darn well. I exercise fairly regularly and walk every day. I could do to exercise more. I don't work out daily and it appears I should be.
My doctor told me to accept the weight gain and know that I can lose it after I have a baby. His only suggestion: a low-impact cardio machine or yoga to keep my heart healthy and muscle mass up during all of the treatments That, and he suggested I ignore the number on the scale until after giving birth.
I have another physical sign of this commitment to motherhood.
My first IVF needle hole is now in my stomach. I did it! I gave myself a shot this evening! I would totally share a stomach photo, but I don't want to scar you all with what the swollen abdomen of a woman who has recently gained 24 pounds look like. Take my word for it. It isn't pretty. Instead, enjoy this shot of all of my shot things gathered together. This is right before I took the plunge!
** I went in for my annual physical. Nothing exciting. Nothing wrong with me.