I know that I say this every time I write to you, but each and every night I pray for you. I pray for your health. I pray for your safety. I pray for your biological mom (because I don't know yet if that is me or someone else). I pray for our family.
I don't know yet how you will come to join our family, but I know that I love you already. It absolutely amazes me how much I love you already. I love you unconditionally and with everything I have, and you are still just a thought.
I know that God already knows you. God loves you. God has a plan for you. He has chosen you for our family. You will come to us when He is ready. I'm not very good at waiting for His time. I am so impatient to meet you and hold you in my arms. You may not be with us physically yet, but you are in my heart. You are special. Cherished. Beloved. And you always will be. I know you will be the greatest blessing.
Today I got (another) shot that might help you develop soon(er). It hurt. My whole body aches right now. And I love the feeling. I would take a million shots all over my body to help you.* You are my sunshine. I love you. I would take any amount of pain for you.
Your daddy and I are pretty silly, and when it's just the two of us, he'll serenade me. His voice is off-key, he can't carry a tune, and rhythm isn't his thing - but when he sings it makes me so happy! One of the songs he sings is "You are my Sunshine". I was thinking about the verses in that song:
The other night dear as I laid sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear I was mistaken and I hung my head and cry
You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies’re grey
You’ll never know dear how much I love you please don’t take my sunshine away
I know that when you come join us, your Daddy will sing to you too. I bet he'll call you his Sunshine! But, by then holding you in our arms won't just be a dream. By then we will know if you have my love of music or your Daddy's complete lack of musical ability. Will you have Daddy's eyes that I love so much? His sense of assurance and confidence?
We are waiting for you. And praying for you. You may never understand the hope, prayers, heartache, and how truly special you are. Oh little adored one, we already love you. We have opened our hearts to you and are just waiting for you to find us and come join our family. Until them, I will pray for you and I will love you, just as I will do every day of my life.
Loving you already,
*Future going through IVF me might disagree with today me on that one - when I'm taking multiple shots a day I and bruising!