Mar 23, 2012

TTC: Our Journey Months 1-20

Or Oversharing the Details of My Life Part 1/2:

Month 1 (December 2009):  This is so exciting we're going to have a baby!  This is going to be great! 
Month 2:  I can't wait to be a Mom.  Look at that cute Mom with the stroller walking.  I'm so going to be her.
Month 3:  Oh shoot -- Casey is unemployed.  How the heck will we pay for a baby?! This isn't the way we planned this! Maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
Month 4: Back on birth control we go.

Month 1 Take 2 (January 2010): We have our savings back, Casey is employed, we're in a good place.  Lets try this again.

Month 2:  Practice makes perfect.  And this baby making stuff is fun.

Month 3:  We are going to do crazy amounts of baby making this month.  And I am going to be pregnant...

Month 4:  ...but it didn't work.  I've heard that other people have success with charting.  Maybe I should try that too.

Month 5:  This isn't a big deal.  The doctor DID tell me that you shouldn't even start to be concerned until 6 months of trying.  And she doesn't normally worry until at least a year.

Month 6:  Still trying.  I've now taken to talking to myself after sex (think Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.")
Month 7:  Fertility chart fail.  I can't make heads or tails of these dots and lines.  What does a "temperature dip" look like anyway?!?

Month 8:  Have an annual checkup with my OB/GYN.  She said a year is really normal but 85% of couples get pregnant within the first year so have hope!  Many women with PCOS (which I was diagnosed with at 17) have success with Metformin and gives me a prescription for that.  She alsosuggest a diet that is low on the glycemic index as PCOS can be associated with diabetes.  No more simple carbs for me.  Now I totally understand charting and armed with that weapon plus this new diet and new prescription, I start coming up with creative Christmas gifts to give our parents announcing a new grandchild.

Month 9:  Just Keep Swimming is obviously not a good mantra.  It isn't working.  Time for a new mantra.  Enter Mikey:
Month 10:  Gosh darn it.  Getting pregnant shouldn't be this hard.  Every other teenager on TLC is having a baby.  If a 15 year old can do it why can't I?  Two facebook "friends" announce unwanted, unplanned pregnancies this month.  My facebook addiction literally dies overnight.

Month 11: If one more person asks me "When are you guys going to think about kids?" I might stab them with a fork.  Seeing family for the holidays is hard!  I did finally tell the women in my Kitchen Group at church that we were TTC.

Month 12:  We're now at a year.  This is just crazy.  How can it have been a year already?  Never a positive pregnancy test nothing.  Let's take a vacation.  We've heard you have to "Just Relax and It Will Happen."

Month 13 (It's now January 2011 for the mathematically challenged):  Vacation didn't work.  Maybe I'm not praying hard enough.  Or I'm not doing it right.  Hmmm.... there is a new women's bible study starting at church.  I should totally join that.

Month 14: I know I was naive to think we'd get pregnant quickly.  I was diagnosed with PCOS at 17, but a year?  Come on universe!  God, where are you?  Don't you hear me praying?  I think I'm doing it better now. 

Month 15:  Seriously, now that I know how many things have to work *just so* to get pregnant, I have no idea how the human race has continued.  This stuff is complicated!

Month 16: My furious googling of how to get pregnant led to some really scary results.  Let's never try that again.

Month 17:  Realize I am a total failure at this whole pregnancy business.  My husband finds me in a ball in my closet bawling.

Month 18: Fail.

Month 19: Fail. Fail. Fail.

Month 20:  See the OB again.  She does an ultrasound and a bunch of blood work.  Refers me to an RE (thats a reproductive endocronlogist or as I like to call him BabyDoc)

For the rest of my tale check our Part 2 here


  1. A lot of people gave me praise for blogging about my miscarriage earlier this year, and I think that should be forwarded on to you because your struggle is so much more tolling.
    I'm sure this sounds like a broken record, but know that you have a wide circle of friends and family for support. If you ever wanted to veg out and mope over our unbabyness, let me know! .... =/ .... seriously!

    1. Kim --- Lets get together and drink (alot) which we still can!