Oct 2, 2008

A Typical Shopping Trip

McMommy of The McMommy Chronicles posted a few weeks ago on the joys of a trip to Costco.  I'm hear to inform you that Sam's Club is no better.

12:04 -- Stand at the front of Sam's Club digging through my purse to find my wallet.  Finally find my wallet and start searching for the gosh darn Club Card.  Of course I can never remember to get it out before I stand it front of the gate keeper.   I shouldn't have to fight to get in to spend money.

12:05 -- "Would you like a Sam's Club Credit Card?  As a valued member you are already pre-approved...."  Seriously?  Still?  Isn't ridiculous lending what got our country into this mess? 
12:06 -- Suckered to start with.  Really cute Dallas Cowboys T-Shirt.  In pink.  In my cart.
12:07 -- Up and down the aisles getting really fun things - like paper towels (package of 20 rolls), kleenex (18 boxes), cascade (years supply), napkins (600), light bulbs, and other house stuff

12:38 -- Cross the very dangerous center of the store.  This is where they keep books, movies, games, kids toys, seasonal decorations, and clothing.  See this and think for only $99 it can be mine - what a steal!  A gorgeous leather jacket (in brown but I can't find a photo in brown) from Nine West.  I'm sure since it's at Sam's it's last season, but a classic cut leather jacket doesn't ever go out style!  I am strong.  I walk on without putting it in my cart.

12:43 -- And now I am confronted by this!  Another great fall jacket.  This one is a classic double breasted wool pea coat from calvin klein.  I already have this jacket in red that I bought years and adore!  Here it is in front in my for only *gasp* $49!  I can get it in grey or black.  Oh my.  I am strong.  I walk on without putting it in my cart.

12:50 -- Lunch time!  Got to love the lunch buffet at Sam's Club!   Mini-Eclairs.  Green tea.  Chicken Noodle Soup.  Chex Mix.  Chocolate Truffles.  (I didn't say it was all bad!) 

1:05  - Weave through frozen food picking up a bag of chicken breasts (6 lbs), a bag of meatballs (if you've never had the Sam's meatballs - they are really good!  I used to always do homemade and then I found these and wow!  So easy!  So good!), chicken patties (pack of 40), pork tenderloin (2 pack), rump roast (only $2.88/lb!), etc.

1:26 -- Wine.  Yum.  They have lots.  And lots.  Not impressed by the prices today though so actually leave without buying any!

1:35 -- Get in Line.  With such a HUGE and CROWDED store there are once again only 3 people checking out.  Apparently they keep prices low by employing no one.

1:42 -- Still In Line.

1:43 -- Lose all willpower while standing in line.  Return to jackets and somehow end up with both of them in my cart?  I'm not exactly sure how that happened.

1:45 -- Return to line.

2:13 -- Finally checking out -- and the grand total is *gasp* I think I'm going to faint.  How is it that every time I go to this gosh darn Member's Only Savings Club I end up spending so much money?  I'm not saving anything here.  I pay for this stinking membership every year only to then spend hundreds!! of dollars every time I go.  Oh my.  I can't afford for Sam's Club to keep saving me money.  But really, by the time I got to the checkout line I would pay anything just to be able to leave!  I've been trying to leave for 30 minutes.  And I didn't make the mistake of going on a crowded weekend.  Or a busy evening.  It's the middle of the afternoon!  On a Thursday!

2:19 -- Swipe my Amex.  Sigh.  I hate places that don't take Amex.  I use my Amex for everything.  If a place doesn't take Amex I don't shop there anymore.  Oh right.  I applied for a Discover a few years ago.  I use it one place.  Seriously - I have a credit card with one purpose.  It's my Sam's Card.  (At least it's pretty - Discover offers monogrammed credit cards!)  

2:20 -- Before my receipt prints a pre-approval prints.  "Would you like a Sam's Club Credit Card?  As a valued member you are already pre-approved...."  Seriously?  Still?  Isn't ridiculous lending what got our country into this mess? And didn't someone already show me this song and dance when I walked IN the store?  At least the person at the entrance offered my a camping chair with the Sam's Logo on it if I signed up.

2:21 -- In line again.  Note: I am waiting in line to leave.  Yep.  That's right.  The really cute old man at the door (who is obviously NOT in a hurry) has to mark off my receipt before I can go home.

2:26 -- The last straw.  I HATE feeling like a distrusted thief every time I walk out of the store.   I just spent almost $500 in your store and you want to see my receipt.  Do they think I'm smuggling the 50lb jar of tomato sauce out under my shirt?  Seriously if someone can walk out of that store with a monster box/tub/jar up their shirt - they deserve it!  

2:55 -- At home with everything unloaded from the car.  It doesn't take long when $500 only buys 27 items.   I try putting everything away, but I don't have a clue where I am supposed to store 24 cans of corn.  Thankfully my garage is big enough to hold the pallet of toilet paper.


  1. This was a great post :) Sams will suck you in in a second! I especially like the part where you gave in and ended up with both jackets :) Even though it's expensive trips... At least you don't have to go as often...

  2. i keep trying to convince todd that we need to join sam's. i love this post!

  3. And that is why I make Mr. Mojito do the grocery shopping!

  4. Sounds like a fun day!!!

    thanks for reading my blog and becoming a follower...

    p.s. I tagged you on my recent post!

  5. I have never been to a Sam's, but, we has Costco cards and man, I agree, the whole having to flash an ID to get in, and then the whole checking your cart thing on the way out... Annoying. We bought paper towels at Costco in June, and heck yes, there are still a billion of them in my garage. Which is great.

  6. haha i laughed a lot thru this post.. sounds like you got some pretty coats!!!